Reading your post is touching, but if regrets and guilt is all you think of as your motivation to do the right thing. It still won’t rid you of guilt, how about trying to embrace kindness in your life. Instead of giving back to your community, spread kindness to others instead. It’s never too late to be kind. I know a lot of people had forgotten the meaning, but for me, it made sense cause when you come across someone that is difficult to you, ask them of their kindness and it just might turn in your favor. It only works if you’re kind, cause you give it to others and in return you get love. I told this to my Mom years back and she said, it’s not what religion want for me, cause only God is kind. So, I gave up religion but still live in kindness. Everything falls into place, and of course, I thank God for enlightening my mind in the whole sense. I hope you get better, and will pray for you and your family.